Karl Staib smiling

How to Appreciate Yourself a Little More

Last week I made a big mistake.

I thought my team could deliver the design strategy by the end of last week. I was wrong. We needed more time. I put my team in a bad situation because I felt pressure from our partners to get them something that they could use.

The dialogue in my head was vicious.

Some of the words I used to describe myself were:

  • Stupid
  • Stressed
  • Dumb
  • Lame
  • Overwhelmed
  • Idiot

I'm leaving out the expletives so as not to offend anyone.

It wasn't a nice scene in my head. I was making a huge mistake and I knew it. I’ve been teaching mindset growth for a while, and calling yourself names is not on the lesson plan.

I fell back into bad habits. This wasn't how I wanted to run my thought process.

The hard part was digging myself out of this mental hole. I had to get back to the basics.

I asked myself, “What am I grateful for right now?”

  1. I'm grateful for my walk into work this morning. The weather was quite nice.
  2. I'm grateful for my cup of green tea this morning because I needed the boost.
  3. I'm grateful for packing my lunch because I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I started to feel better. Now I needed to turn the focus onto myself.

I asked myself, “how am I grateful for myself?”

  1. I'm grateful that I noticed my anger and took a pause before I spiraled out of control.
  2. I'm grateful that I trust my team to allow myself to take risks and make mistakes.
  3. I'm grateful that I can learn from my mistakes.

The tide was turning.

Then I asked myself, “What did I learn from this situation?”

  1. I learned that I need to listen to my gut and tell our partners that we need more time to get it right.
  2. I need to pause and think before I commit.
  3. I have an amazing team that tried to deliver the work on time.

This last list helped me a lot. I stopped beating myself up and I began to appreciate my own contribution to my team. I know I need to be more compassionate with myself. If I don't treat myself better, I could fall back into a depression again.

Failures

The real reason behind your failures is not your boss, your spouse, or your parents. It’s because your foundation has some cracks in it. It all starts with your inner dialogue. Are you your biggest critic or your biggest fan?

To put it bluntly, “Do you appreciate yourself?”

A lack of appreciation can really hold you back.

If you don’t appreciate how talented you are, you will be afraid to put yourself out there because of what others will think of you.

You have to be able to appreciate what you bring to every interaction. I’m saying this to splash some cold water on your face. If you aren’t where you want to be in life, it’s because of one person.

You.

I didn’t believe in my talents for many years. I played the game of trying, but not trying that hard. Enough to get by, but not thrive. The only way to make an impact in life is to believe that you can make an impact. After that, it’s all about trying, failing, adjusting, and trying again.

I’m on my 6th book. Only 2 were published and only 1 is good. I didn’t give up because I came back to being grateful for what I bring to the people in my life. I have a lot to offer them and I have to do everything in my power to give them my best.

This mindset shift didn't happen overnight and as you can see I'm still a work in progress.

Small Steps

Tomorrow I want you to keep track of the words you use to describe yourself. If you catch yourself calling yourself “stupid” then jot it down.

If you catch yourself being positive and reassuring yourself, please jot this down. I know the thoughts come fast and furious and we don’t always have time to jot down the internal dialogue that we have, but I want you to try your best.

Then look at which type of dialogue you did more often. If you are anything like me, the negative self talk usually happens more often.

Then ask yourself, “What is a better way to do this? How can I bring a little more positive self talk into my life?”

I created the Bring Gratitude card deck because I wished there was a product like this out in the world to help me with my mindset. It’s a 30 Day Mindset Reboot. The card deck is filled with 34 cards. Each one has a positive question that you can ask yourself each morning.

Here’s how it works: You’ll pull out one card each night and put it by your toothbrush. Then, you allow your subconscious to noodle on the question as you sleep. When you wake up, you’ll see the question and while you brush your teeth you’ll think of the answer.

Then you’ll jot your answer down or say it out loud to yourself. It’s important that you either hear it or see it to help it sink into your brain.

This is where the magic happens. You’ll kick start your day with a positive question which will help your brain be more positive and resilient throughout the day. After 30 days, you should see a good boost in your productivity and ability to enjoy your life just a little bit more.

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